A couple of weekends ago while I was with a group of women at the Peninsula Hot Springs. We were discussing what I did back in 2013 to completely reverse my ability to shut down and disassociate.
You see for most of my life, at least from when I was very young, I had created a shut down within me. This blocked me on a few levels. When I was being sexually abused I would completely shut out the pain, memory, and completely leave my body. I could also block any pain that I endured. I did this by focusing on a corner in the room or perhaps a dot on the ceiling. If I was in a situation that required my emotion. I would also shut this part of myself off. I couldn't even shed a tear at funerals. I considered that giving of my vulnerable innocent part of self was giving up my power. I controlled this at all costs!!!
I controlled it so much that it then controlled me.
I was able to experience childbirth without the pain, this was a bonus. I was also able to not over-react to accidents that happened to my boys falling from motor bikes, jumping from high places or playing football.
However, I also could not experience pure JOY. Particularly at times of intimacy.
Back in 2013 at a pivotal breaking point where I was fed up with this having such control over my life I decided to go within. I was guided to a space within where I managed to completely take out this shut down part that automatically took control over me.
The results were instant. I began to feel fully. With an open heart I felt a connection to everything. This was pretty full on in the start.
I ended up stepping out of my life leaving only a note in September 2013. The emotion was overwhelming at first. This has since settled to a Wonderful Living Space of Completeness.
A few years have passed and I had not been put to the test with the physical pain blocking thing.
The other day at the Peninsula Hot Springs I was asked if I could shut out pain like that now. I promised I would let them know if an opportunity presented itself.
My opportunity presented itself 2 days later. On Monday I had to have a sunspot - squamous cell cancer (SCC) cut from my face. Laying in the reclined chair I was really nervous. My feet even felt funny. I looked up like I had for years to focus on a dot. In went the first needle. I began to shake and felt it all. I tried desperately to block the pain of the next 2 needles without success. Tears flowed down my cheeks.
So the upside is that I have completely changed an aspect within me that had controlled me for most of my life. I am now living my life complete with all emotions being connected to.
I felt like sharing this because I believe this is why I am here. I have purpose to let people know that we can change anything that limits us.
It has become my mission to share what I discovered. We can go our whole lives without really feeling complete. Little parts of us shut down to protect us throughout Life.
You do not have to be someone who was sexually abused to be shut down. I have met people that were just overlooked and felt unloved as a child. Perhaps someone chose a partner that slowly stripped away their confidence and the pure essence of who they should be. Many life events change and mould us into who we become.
I know 100% that if your life is not all it was supposed to be then it can be changed. There is a RESET Button available for everyone to bring them back into a space of Completeness. I call it a nothing space - it's the space before you are anything.
I am in Melbourne offering the 'Banyan Method Trainings' in April. March is already fully booked.
If you are curious and would like to come along I would love to meet you.
I share what I have personally learned about how we are formed throughout life and excitingly share how you can change that.
Get Back a COMPLETE You !!!
